How Do I Know If I Need Trauma Therapy?
Trauma is this big word that many think only happens when you experience major traumatic events like physical abuse, sexual abuse, a natural disaster, or a car accident. While those are all traumas and can leave a lasting impact on your physical and mental health, there is so much more to trauma than those major events.
I remember early in my adulthood when I was in the military thinking I was lucky to have not experienced trauma in my life. I was raised in a two-parent household in Sandpoint, with little fighting from my parents. I had two siblings, played sports, got decent grades in school, and had friends to hang out with. It seems like a fine way to grow up, so why was I an anxious, people-pleasing, perfectionist? Why did I feel so emotionally disconnected from myself and others?
Trauma affects so many of us, yet we don’t always know what trauma is or the impact it has on our lives. I have clients who often say things like “I had a good childhood” or “Nothing bad has happened to me,” but who also have unwanted feelings, behaviors, or physical symptoms that keep showing up in their lives.
Trauma therapy isn’t just for those who’ve been through major, life-altering events. It’s for anyone who feels stuck, disconnected, or overwhelmed by the weight of their experiences. So if you are questioning whether or not you need trauma therapy, this article is for you. I will explore how to tell if trauma therapy is right for you and how approaches like EMDR and Brainspotting can help you heal and reclaim your life.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma is an experience in your life that overwhelms your ability to cope, leaving a lasting impact on your mind and body. Traumatic experiences come in many forms and are not specific to only major catastrophic events such as abuse or a car accident, trauma can also result from smaller, less obvious events.
1. Major Traumas
These are the kinds of events most people think of when they hear the word “trauma.” They’re life-threatening or deeply scary experiences, such as:
Physical or sexual abuse.
Car accidents or serious injuries.
Being in a natural disaster like a flood, hurricane, or wildfire.
Losing a loved one suddenly or unexpectedly.
These kinds of events can leave emotional and physical scars that don’t just go away on their own.
2. Relational Trauma
Relational trauma happens when someone close to you—like a parent, partner, or friend—hurts you emotionally or physically. Examples include:
Being criticized, ignored, or made to feel “not good enough” by a parent figure.
Betrayal, like a partner cheating or leaving suddenly.
Being in a relationship where you feel controlled, manipulated, or unsafe.
This type of trauma can make it hard to trust people or feel safe in close relationships.
3. Developmental or Attachment Trauma
This kind of trauma starts in childhood when your basic needs for love, safety, and care aren’t met. It might look like:
Growing up in a home where affection wasn’t given freely.
Feeling ignored or neglected when you needed help.
Having a parent figure who was unpredictable or emotionally unavailable.
Growing up feeling invisible or like your feelings didn’t matter.
Not having a stable or safe place to share your emotions.
Never hearing encouragement or support for who you are.
As adults, people with this kind of trauma might struggle with trusting others, feeling worthy of love, or worrying about being abandoned.
4. Generational Trauma
Generational trauma gets passed down through families, even if you didn’t experience the original event yourself. For example:
A parent who survived abuse might have difficulty showing affection or connecting emotionally.
Families who’ve faced big hardships like war or discrimination may carry patterns of fear, stress, or avoidance.
These patterns can impact how you feel about yourself and how you interact with the world, even if you don’t know where they started.
5. Chronic Stress Trauma
Sometimes trauma doesn’t come from one big event but instead builds up over time from ongoing stress. This could happen if:
You grew up in a chaotic or unpredictable home.
You’ve been in a toxic workplace or unhealthy relationship.
You’ve faced long-term struggles like financial stress or discrimination.
Even when the stress ends, your body can stay stuck in “fight-or-flight” mode, making it hard to relax or feel safe.
6. Medical Trauma
Medical trauma happens when health challenges or treatments feel overwhelming or scary. This might include:
Getting a serious diagnosis or living with a chronic illness.
Experiencing complications during surgery or childbirth.
Facing long hospital stays or medical procedures.
This kind of trauma can make you feel anxious about your health or avoid medical care altogether, even when you need it.
7. Vicarious or Secondary Trauma
Sometimes, trauma doesn’t happen to you directly but comes from witnessing or being close to someone else’s pain. This can happen if:
You’ve witnessed a traumatic event, like being a first responder.
You’re helping a loved one cope with their trauma.
Even if it’s not your trauma, it can still leave you feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or emotionally drained.
How Trauma Lives in Your Body
It’s easy to downplay your experiences by comparing them to others or believing that the best way to get over your trauma is to "move on." But trauma isn’t about the event itself—it’s about how your body and mind respond and the amount of support you had after the event. Trauma doesn’t fade just because time passes. It’s stored in your body, often without you even realizing it. You may think you have put the trauma behind you, but as Bessel van der Kolk points out “the body keeps the score.”
Have you ever found yourself reacting to something in a way that feels bigger than the situation calls for? That’s one way trauma shows up. Trauma lives in your nervous system, creating a heightened state of vigilance or shutting you down entirely. Over time, this can lead to:
Chronic tension or feeling “on edge.”
Difficulty concentrating or staying present.
Digestive problems, fatigue, or headaches.
Feeling disconnected from your body or emotions.
This happens because your brain and body perceive the world as dangerous, even when the danger has passed.
Coping Mechanisms: How We Manage Trauma
To survive trauma, your body and mind develop coping mechanisms to protect you. These might include:
Overworking or perfectionism: Staying busy can distract you from painful feelings, but it can also leave you burned out.
Emotional eating or disordered eating: Food can become a way to soothe yourself or regain control.
Substance use or shopping: Temporary distractions like alcohol, drugs, or retail therapy can numb emotional pain, but they don’t address the root cause.
Avoidance: Steering clear of certain people, places, or memories might feel safer, but it also keeps you stuck.
People-pleasing or over-apologizing: You might feel the need to keep everyone happy to avoid conflict or rejection.
While these strategies might help in the short term, they are a band-aid approach, often creating new challenges and reinforcing feelings of disconnection and shame.
Signs You Might Benefit From Trauma Therapy
If you’re wondering whether trauma therapy could help you, here are some signs to consider:
Emotional Symptoms:
Persistent feelings of anxiety, sadness, or anger.
Feeling numb, detached, or disconnected from yourself or others.
Flashbacks, nightmares, or intrusive thoughts about past events.
Physical Symptoms:
Unexplained pain, fatigue, or tension.
Difficulty sleeping or relaxing.
Digestive issues or a constant feeling of restlessness.
Behavioral Symptoms:
Struggling with boundaries or relationships.
Avoiding certain situations, people, or conversations.
Using food, alcohol, or other substances to cope.
Cognitive Symptoms:
Negative self-talk or feelings of worthlessness.
Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
Overthinking or feeling “stuck” in the past.
Trauma therapy can provide relief and help you understand that these symptoms aren’t a sign of weakness—they’re your body’s way of trying to protect you.
Ready to start your healing journey? Click here to schedule your free consultation.
How Trauma Therapy Can Help
I do not want to downplay the survivor in you, because you have made it to where you are today by coping and adapting to your surroundings. However, trauma therapy allows you to let go of the coping mechanisms that no longer serve you and instead help you develop more peaceful ways to interact with yourself and the world around you. Trauma therapy is designed to offer you a safe and supportive environment to process your trauma. There are many different modalities to use in trauma therapy, so I will provide you with the few that I find most helpful.
EMDR Therapy
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a highly effective approach to trauma therapy. It uses bilateral stimulation, through sounds, tapping, or guided eye movements, to help your brain process traumatic memories in a way that reduces their emotional impact. Over time, memories that once felt overwhelming become less triggering, allowing you to move forward with clarity and peace. For more information on EMDR, check out my blog on 5 Signs You Could Benefit From EMDR Therapy.
Brainspotting Therapy
Brainspotting is another powerful tool for trauma healing. It works by helping you access trauma stored deep in your brain and body. By focusing on specific “brainspots,” you can safely process emotions that may feel stuck or difficult to articulate. This approach is especially helpful for trauma that feels deeply embedded or hard to explain.
Nervous System Regulation
Trauma therapy also includes tools to help regulate your nervous system. Techniques like mindfulness, grounding exercises, and breathwork can calm an overactive fight-or-flight response and bring your body back to a state of balance.
Why Trauma Therapy Is Different
Trauma therapy focuses on healing both the mind and the body. Unlike traditional talk therapy, which focuses primarily on thoughts and feelings, trauma therapy addresses how experiences are stored in your body and nervous system.
You don’t have to keep reliving painful memories to heal. Instead, trauma therapy provides tools to help you feel safe, process emotions, and move forward without being weighed down by the past.
The Benefits of Trauma Therapy
When you commit to trauma therapy, you’re investing in more than just symptom relief. You’re creating a foundation for lasting change. Benefits can include:
Feeling more connected to yourself and your body.
Reduced anxiety, depression, and emotional reactivity.
Improved relationships and the ability to set healthy boundaries.
Increased self-confidence and self-worth.
The freedom to enjoy life without being controlled by the past.
Start Your Healing Journey Today
My story is like so many other clients I help—believing that trauma only happens when we experience a major traumatic event. While I thought my childhood was free from trauma, I didn’t realize how the daily events of living in an emotionally unavailable household would affect me. I survived by being a people-pleaser and perfectionist who was constantly activated and disconnected from my body. It took me years to identify my unhelpful patterns and how they were continuing to feed the trauma cycle I was in. Awareness is the first step to healing and if you are reading this then you are on the right path! Healing takes effort, but it’s worth it and you don’t have to do it alone.
You’ve carried the weight of your trauma long enough. Trauma therapy offers a path to freedom, connection, and self-compassion. If you’re ready to take the first step, I’d love to support you on your journey. Please reach out here for your free 15-minute consultation.
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Jarae Swanstrom is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor practicing online throughout Idaho. She believes in a holistic approach to therapy, focusing on healing the whole body. Jarae helps women heal trauma, disordered eating, and negative body image. Learn more about Jarae or schedule a free consultation at mountainrivertherapy.com.
